Weekly Torah Portion

By Baal Tefillah Marc Lamb 

A parent’s love is not always simple, and Genesis knows it. It is full of children who are not loved equally, and this week’s portion, Toldot, presents one of the most complicated cases of all.

Twin sons are born to Issac and Rebecca . Isaac loves Esau best  and Rebecca loves Jacob. The Torah explains Isaac’s love (he had a taste for game, Genesis 25:28) but says nothing about  why Rebecca favors Jacob .  Why does it explain one and not the other?

Perhaps the answer lies in the prophecy she received during her pregnancy: “The older shall serve the younger.” The Torah never says Isaac knew of this prophecy . Jacob’s destiny was told only to Rebecca. And perhaps, she  set out to fulfill it. She coached Jacob to deceive his blind father. The brothers became enemies. Jacob was forced to flee for his life  and the Torah never records that Rebecca saw him again.

However , ultimately the prophecy was fulfilled: Jacob became Israel-  the great patriarch and father of the Jewish people . But knowing a child’s destiny is not the same as knowing how to love that child. God told Rebecca which son would prevail. God did not tell her which son to love.

The biblical narrative naturally concentrates on Jacob. But this week, let’s turn our attention to Esau. When he learns that the blessing is gone, he cries out, “Bless me, me too, my father!” The Torah calls it an exceedingly great and bitter cry (27:34). Later, he tries to win his parents’ approval (28:8–9) by marrying the daughter of Ishmael It took twenty years  for him to reconcile with his brother Jacob. 

 Many of us were the child who came second, and some of us were the parent who didn’t see it. Most of us carry that and still find a way to accept our parents as the flawed human beings they are. 

So this Shabbat, I want to make a plea. If there is a rift in your family, a parent, a child, a sibling and if it is safe to do so, reach out. Esau had every reason to hold on to his bitterness, and still, when he saw Jacob, he ran to meet him and embraced him. If you were the one who favored, say what was never said. If you were the one who came second, consider letting go of what you were owed. And if you aren’t ready, ask for the strength to be ready.

No child should have to wonder whether they are loved as they are. 

Shabbat Shalom.